I have been struggling a little bit lately with my own self worth. My perception is often skewed or influenced by others around me, on social media, other bloggers, coworkers, friends, etc. None of that is anyone else's fault, I take full accountability for choosing to compare myself to others.
Recently and even as recent as today I recognized that the thoughts consuming me are all thoughts of what I can't do, what I don't do and what I need to be doing. I can't take great pictures or videos with great lighting, I can't blog as much as I truly want to, I can't be in my classroom teaching my kids as much as I truly want to, I can't spend nearly enough time at home, I don't spend nearly enough quality time with my kids, I am not thin enough, I don't style clothes the way I should, I don't kiss my husband enough, I don't connect with my family enough, I don't talk to my friends enough, I don't spend enough time on lesson plans, I don't clean my house enough, I don't go to enough of the boys' practices, the list (as you can see) can really go on and on.
The truth is, I know that I am not alone in this, I know especially for working mothers, the struggle with mom guilt is real. The pressure a woman feels has been created by this society that expects for us to be the best mom, the best cheerleader, the best teacher, take the best care of ourselves, take the best care of our families, be the best friend, look good, feel good, keep a good house, be a good wife. The society that has created these expectations though, that society is us. We do this, we put this pressure on ourselves to be the best at all the things.
I have put this incredible amount of pressure on myself to be the absolute best at everything I have taken on in my life because I am terrified to fail and be rejected. When really all that I am and all that I can do has always been enough for the people who love me. Do our kids sometimes ask more of us? Yes! Do our husbands need us during times we aren't available? Yes! Does work ask for more when we feel like we just don't have anything more to give? Yes! BUT we don't have to do any of it, those expectations are fostered by us always saying yes when really what we do already is enough. We only fail because of the expectations we set out for ourselves.
I decided to take this blogging hobby public because it's something that I love to do and sharing it makes me love it even more. Today however, I was caught beating myself up for not being the best at it, for not having enough of a following, for not being as good as the gurus. After a long drive alone with my thoughts and a mental pep talk I remembered why I am doing this. I am doing it because it's what I love to do and those that choose to follow along this journey with me will love me for me and the way that I do things and if they don't they won't follow, or at least I don't want them to. My hope in all of this is to be real and genuine and relatable and approachable and not perfect. I do this to share what I love and to make others feel great. So I decided today to just keeping going with it, to tell myself that I am enough and that all of this will be a learning experience along the way.
I talked myself out of all of the pressure and have decided to wake up each day telling myself one thing I CAN DO or reflect on the things that I do well. We're all going to make mistakes, we're all going to fail, we're all going to have those moments that make us want to smack ourselves in the middle of the forehead, but that's not because we aren't great and awesome, it's just because we aren't perfect...no one is. The challenge isn't to obtain perfection, the challenge is to convince ourselves that we are enough, because we are!
Melissa here! While I'm all about sharing trends, deals, and outfit ideas with you, I have a true passion for writing. I love sharing thoughts on life the most and am excited to share those thoughts with all of you right here!
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