With Father's Day here I thought I would write a post in honor of the best dad I know and reflect on the time fatherhood developed for you. So here you go, a reflection of the time our lives both changed, our relationship was challenged, our hearts were broken and then pieced together again, and in the end, we both were gifted with the greatest miracles and love imaginable.
We had been married for three years already when we decided that what we both longed for was to share our lives with a baby. We talked about it every day, we dreamed about it, we got so excited about it. Strangely though, for a long time I had always had this intuition that getting pregnant would not be easy for me. Isn't it weird how a woman's intuition is just so spot on sometimes? Unfortunately mine was, and fortunately we had the best doctor who fully trusted my instincts and wasn't willing to waste any more of our time. Six months into trying to accomplish our dream of pregnancy, she referred us to a fertility specialist, another amazing doctor. While we were so grateful for our gynecologist's quick actions and proactive thinking, this reality was terrifying to us. We cried A LOT, worried even more, and thought the worst of course. Before our first appointment with our fertility doctor, we were thinking plan b and doing research on the what ifs. Needless to say this time for us was trying and consuming.
For a good year we drove back and forth to Grand Rapids (45 minutes away) and often times at the drop of a hat. Thankfully we both had extremely supportive and compassionate employers that did whatever they could for us to be accommodating. I remember those drives being silent some days and other days we just anxiously held meaningless conversations to avoid our reality. We were both so scared. The poking and prodding was hard for you, I know this. It was very hard for you to sit back and watch them do test after test on me and all you could do was sit and hold my hand. The hardest were the painful dye tests, man those hurt and you let me squeeze your hand as hard as I needed to until it was over. Your testing time came too though, and that was so pride swallowing. Men, just aren't used to the invasive procedures that us women have to endure yearly and sometimes more often than that. This was a big learning experience for you. You took it all with great confidence though, you did what you needed to do to make our dreams come true.
We were getting quite used to the roller coaster ride, the good news, the bad news, the positive spins, the silver lining, the dread, etc. Eventually our doctor determined a plan for us and it felt good, it felt like there was a light. That path didn't come easily though, I remember the first time you tried to inject my stomach with meds at home, that was the worst! We actually laughed so hard at how bad you were as a nurse. I ended up having to give myself the shots and I think that was much easier on both of us. February 4th 2011, I remember the day so vividly like it was yesterday. This was the day of our first IUI (artificial insemination). We had done a cycle's worth of preparation just for this day. It kind of felt like all of our eggs were in one basket, literally. Talk about invasive, for both of us this time! Some of the details I will leave between you and I, but yes, invasive to say the least. I remember laying in the doctor's office, you holding my hand, as we both looked at each other, avoiding the "process" and crying. I remember tears streaming down my face and laying on the wet pillow, tears stemming from all of the emotions, good and bad. That was it, a quick procedure and then we prayed. We prayed for weeks, that's all we could do.
Our follow up appointment came with the most incredible news, WE WERE PREGNANT!! It only took once, one time and it worked! How did we get so lucky? I had to continue to have blood tests done every couple of days to assure that all systems were a go. We felt good, we felt like things were looking up for us, we could see that light at the end of the tunnel and hear a beautiful little racing heartbeat. Then the dreaded phone call. I was in the middle of teaching and our wonderful school secretary walked into my classroom and told me my doctor was on the phone and that I should take it. Thinking about that conversation with him brings me to tears now. "You'er miscarrying, your numbers are too low, it could be ectopic, your body should just take care of it and we can go from there, but we still need to keep checking your levels every few days to be sure". I was devastated. Calling you was the last thing I wanted to do. I was so worried about breaking your heart. I don't even know if I could talk at first, I was crying so hard. You pulled me together though, not even knowing how to, but you did. It took us a few days, but we pulled through. We prayed, we made our plan and we moved on.
Then came the phone call that changed our lives forever, it was actually kind of surreal and felt so much like it couldn't be possible and maybe even like a bad joke. After getting my levels checked with blood work for the next week, our fertility doctor called while I was teaching again to tell me that someone had made a mistake with calculating my counts and that I was still in fact pregnant! All of it was a mistake, as if we hadn't been through enough already. We went on to have a full, healthy and beautiful pregnancy. On November 3, 2011 we delivered the most perfect little boy and I will never for my whole life forget the look on your face when the doctor held him up for us to discover he was a boy. Rowan Nicholas Scheible, who would become a very handsome, sports loving, super smart and competitive, now eight year old. Our dream had come true.
We relished in the adoration of parenthood for nearly two years before we decided that Rowan needed a sibling and that we wanted to grow our family. This time it felt easier, less stressful just knowing that we didn't have to go through the testing and the worry and wonder. We could even plan the timing of this one! We booked an appointment right away with a new fertility specialist (our first sadly passed away after a battle with cancer). We had our consultation, told him our wish, he made our plan and we left there feeling excited and ready to go! Little did we know, we were already pregnant! God was so good to us! We found out weeks later how blessed we were and as it would go, we didn't get to plan the timing of it all, it was already planned for us. Grady Alexander Scheible was planned to be Rowan's little brother and be the one to make us laugh every single day. He would become the bright, handsome, creative, attention loving and comical six year old he is today.
We now have two amazing little boys and we couldn't be happier at the way parenthood has turned out for us. Our kiddos are happy, smart, handsome and kind babes and they bring us so much joy, also they test us, infuriate us, make us want to pull our hair out and frustrate us beyond belief some days, they're not perfect but they're ours! We know how blessed we are, we know our fortune and we pray that others seeking this dream, keep working for it. Their blessings will come, just maybe not the way they planned it. There is no way that I could have gotten through our experience without you and your strength, compassion and your positive outlook. You knew it would happen for us.
I am so happy for you, for our two boys and for them to have the dad like they do. Our story is ours, our journey was long and daunting and taught us so much, but you were meant to be a dad, it was in the plans for you and the boys and I will be forever grateful that God put us in that plan!
Happy Father's Day! We love you!
Melissa here! While I'm all about sharing trends, deals, and outfit ideas with you, I have a true passion for writing. I love sharing thoughts on life the most and am excited to share those thoughts with all of you right here!
ENTER YOUR INFO. BELOW TO SUBSCRIBE TO THIS BLOG AND RECEIVE NOTIFICATIONS OF NEW POSTS BY EMAIL.