It all takes SACRIFICE
I stumbled upon an article the other day on Facebook or somewhere I was scrolling that said "friendship takes sacrifice". I thought about that for a minute and considered the season in life I am in and I kind of got annoyed. Here I am all worried about missing out on time with my kids and now there's this article making me feel guilty for not sacrificing for my friendships (insert dramatic eye roll).
A few weeks ago I wrote a post addressing my goals for the new year and this next decade. A major priority for me is time with my kids. I have committed to that and made that promise to myself. This time with them just goes too fast and soon they won't want to be with me all of the time and I won't have control over that. I don't want to see them grow up and move on and wish that I had spent more quality time with them. This will take sacrifice, it already has. This means, less time working out, less time with friends, less time being social, less time doing adult only things and less time on my work. I am 100% okay with that because time for all of those things will come. We all have to choose to balance in life and sometimes that balancing happens throughout the day and sometimes that balancing happens according to what is happening in our life right now. I have had plenty of great times being social and making memories having adult time with my friends and being the absolute best teacher I can be and now it's time to have quality time and make memories with my kids and be the absolute best mom I can be.
I had a conversation with someone recently about how social media can be a toxic place in ways that cause us FOMO or guilt or wishing for more or different when we don't even actually want that. It's always interesting to me because I have been that person who wishes she had accepted an invitation to be social or even invited in the first place. However, every time I am, I am wishing I was home with my kids. Honestly, my favorite times are when I am snuggling on the couch watching Disney Plus or playing a board game and snacking with the boys, there is absolutely no place else I'd rather be. Those are the times that they will remember too. When they are older and reminiscing, it will be the little traditions and the quality time we shared together that they will remember.
I think it's important to remind ourselves that sacrifice is essential but that sacrifice needs to be right for right now. Sometimes, we allow ourselves to be guilted into sacrificing for what's not important at this time in our lives. In order to balance what is important we have to sacrifice in all other areas. There is no way that we can give 100% to everything in our life, we can try as hard as we want to but it's just not possible and we beat ourselves up for failing to do so.
I agree that friendship takes sacrifice, but so does everything else! I am choosing to take that pressure off of myself and be ok with sacrificing it all for what matters to me the most right now. Sometimes we just have to be confident in acknowledging what we need and what brings us happiness and give ourselves the permission to be the one who controls that.
just checkin' myself
Well, here it is the new year, the time for resolutions. I am not a resolution maker, it's just not something that I've ever really been into. However, as you know, I am a reflector. I do a lot of "thinking" and reflecting about things and naturally this time of year reflecting happens a lot, it's a good time to check yourself.
Some of the hot topics scrolling through my head lately are weight (shocker), this blog, parenting and FOMO. These are all things that I feel could use a little more attention on my behalf in order to be the best version of me.
Weight (sigh), this is just a dark heavy (pun intended) cloud that hangs over me always, for years. I go through a cycle every year. This time of year I am always my heaviest, and right now I am actually the heaviest I have ever been (not pregnant). Then I get on a health and fitness kick to prepare for whatever Spring vacation we have planned. I usually drop 10-15 lbs and hang onto that until about half way through the summer. Then I start eating and drinking more and slowly put it and more back on by Christmas and the cycle starts again. This time around I am feeling a little more insecure about this cycle because I post a lot of pictures of myself in clothing for all to see. I worry about judgement, silly I know, but I also am finding it harder and harder to post pictures when I just don't feel good in what I am wearing. That's what's important to me, I don't actually care what the scale says, I care about how I feel in my clothes, and right now I feel blah. So, as the cycle goes, it's time to do something about it. Nick and I are starting a weight loss challenge with a group of our friends next week. This is all for fun but I think a great way for us to be motivated and accountable. The real challenge for me, however, is to actually keep it off this time. To end the cycle and to find balance between healthy living while at the same time indulging and enjoying once in a while.
Next, this blog, this has really been one of my proudest achievements in 2019 and one that brings me so much happiness. It's the one thing I do for me and me only. I would really like to find more time to do this, the writing part. I would also like to not overthink the content I write about and just write, even if that means that just one person got something out of a post and that one person is me. The bottom line is that I am going to keep doing this, the writing, the posting, the instagramming, all of it, because it brings me happiness. It has also helped me to grow so much personally, to accept me for me and to help me to let go of what other's think about me (that's a work in progress).
Then there is parenting, well it's more time with my kids and my family that is on my mind. I posted about how at the end of this decade I will have a senior in high school, a kiddo who will be preparing to leave the nest and head off to college. That thought rocked me like none other. I have ten years to soak up every moment of this parenting thing. I am not saying that parenting ends, but parenting how I know it will end. I want to enjoy this time with my boys and spend as much time as possible having experiences with them and creating memories with our family of four.
Finally, this brings me to FOMO, letting go of FOMO. Often times Nick and I both let the fear or the pressures of missing out drive our decisions on how we spend our time. We will often choose social events over family time. This is something that has never sat well with me. I am not saying that we choose friends over family all of the time, I am just saying that we do have an active social life and I am a homebody at heart, I like to be at home, it makes me feel grounded. There is nowhere else I'd rather be than at home with my boys on a Friday night watching a movie and snuggling with snacks. We are blessed with so many wonderful and active friends who have enriched our lives beyond measure and time with them is still valuable to us, however, time with our kiddos and our small family is what we actually fear missing out on. When our kids are gone and developing lives and families of their own, we will have all the time we want to fill up our social calendars.
So that's that, not resolutions per say, just checkin' myself and acknowledging the ways that I can maintain or grow the things that bring the most happiness in my life. What are you reflecting on? What brings you the most happiness? Make the commitment to focus on those things, put your effort there and let this year and this decade be your happiest time yet.
Melissa here! While I'm all about sharing trends, deals, and outfit ideas with you, I have a true passion for writing. I love sharing thoughts on life the most and am excited to share those thoughts with all of you right here!
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