I came to a quick and abrupt realization this week that everything that goes wrong in our household is my fault, well in the eyes of my children; Rowan, 7 and Grady, 5. Rowan comes with me to school every day, his classroom is on the other side of the building but he is with me until the bell rings at the beginning of the day and then from the time it rings at the end of the day. I pack his lunch every single day, and I might be a little bitter that he doesn't like any of the hot lunch choices ever on the lunch menu, but that's besides the point. Anyway, on Friday I got a call down to the staff room asking for me at the front desk. Our wonderful secretary greeted me when I got down there with a big old grin and asked "so what did you pack Rowan for lunch today?". Obviously there was a purpose to her question and so it dawned on me as my heart sank that I clearly messed up somehow. My child popped out from behind a wall holding his lunch bag full of empty containers. My response was "oh my gosh total mom fail!". In my defense I was taking care of my husband the night before after his knee surgery and our after school routine was totally different. I, in fact, didn't unpack his lunch or pack it for the day before. Somehow it went from his backpack and into the fridge...empty. We managed to feed my child and solve the problem, no biggy, chuckle chuckle.
On Monday, after a big mid-April snowstorm, Rowan and I dropped Grady off at daycare only to be greeted with all of the children frolicking in the snow. Grady of course, unbeknownst to me, did not have any snow pants because someone (a.ka. my husband) brought them home, being it was April. So Grady had to deal with it, play by his teacher and not in the snow with his friends but he got over it. Well we got back into the car, Rowan and I, and Rowan says from the back seat "well another mom fail." ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! That was the moment, the moment when I actually realized that yes I totally did have a mom fail but not for forgetting snow pants and to pack a lunch. My mom fail was failing to teach my children to be helpful, independent, compassionate, team players. Now, I realize that I in fact, am the one who actually taught Rowan the term "mom fail" and he learned from hearing me say it, that it is OK to blame me, that it all must really be my fault. Who else's fault could it be? Rowan learned that day what it means to have a Rowan fail. He learned that really the empty containers left in his lunch were his fault and that he failed to check his lunch when he tossed it in his backpack that morning. He also learned that the missing snow pants were actually a Grady, mom and dad fail. That we need to work together as a team to make the dream work in our house, in order to fully be prepared for our days and to make our lives run smoothly and that our mistakes are #teamfails, not mom fails. Don't put that on me, don't put that on yourselves. When a mistake is made in your house, within your family, turn to each other to fix it, don't take that blame. I know in my house and in my life I have a million things to remember every minute and it is time to turn that accountability and share some of that responsibility, even if my kids are just young boys. Someday those young boys will be husbands and dads and they'll continue to share in the #teamfails. Oh and guess who has emptied his lunch and repacked it for the next day every day this week? #momwin!
2 Comments
Kim
4/16/2019 03:04:31 pm
Awesome post Melissa! Should be required reading for all young mothers!
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Elizabeth Nagelbush
4/16/2019 05:11:25 pm
Good writing! You are so correct.
Reply
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LUCKY LADY!
Melissa here! While I'm all about sharing trends, deals, and outfit ideas with you, I have a true passion for writing. I love sharing thoughts on life the most and am excited to share those thoughts with all of you right here! Archives
January 2021
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