I asked for this
Back in January I published a post about sacrifice and how in 2020 I was prepared to sacrifice some "me" time and social gatherings for time with my family. I was yearning for time with them and appreciating the memories we had been making together, just the four of us. I was reflecting on how quickly the time really does go by with kiddos and how they grow up in what seems like lightning speed. Thanks to TimeHop we are reminded daily of what once was and how blinking has made them grow inches taller in no time at all. In a round about way I kind of asked for this time with them. Honestly, it's been a blessing to just be home and to not feel guilty about missing out on other things or passing up other opportunities, because we're being forced to stay home. Secretly, I kind of like it (insert gasp here).
I have often considered myself an extrovert, outgoing and overly expressive, but as I get older I am realizing that I am actually an extroverted introvert, also known as an ambivert. I am a mix of the two; I enjoy selective social gatherings but I am a home body. I love meaningful conversations but can't deal with small talk. I fear missing out on fun times with groups of people but would choose a movie or Netflix on the couch with my favorites any time.
This stay at home time has been a gift for some people, ambiverts like me. I get to spend my days (all days) with my two favorite kids. I get bonus time to make memories with this family of mine and watch my kids learn. I get to appreciate what they know and what they need to know. I see their interests come out in their home school work and I die laughing over the things that come out of their mouths every day. They've gotten closer with each other too. They spend a lot of time with each other and are really bonding over outside exploration, teaching each other games and inventing new ones together. I am getting time to teach them life skills like folding laundry, dusting and vacuuming. And for the love of God, they are becoming familiar with where the heck things go when they need to be put away!
During the "normal" school year, I often envy their teachers, that get to spend more time with them in a day than I do for five days out of the week. My time with them is spent in the car transitioning from one activity to the next, or watching them do their thing from afar. We save a few hours each weekend to snuggle and really talk, that's it. Well now they can't be in in school or do any of the things, our calendars are completely clear and free to just be together doing what we want to be doing (at home).
Do I miss my family and friends? Heck yeah! Do I miss the hugs? Beyond measure! Do I miss laughing and making memories with my other favorite people? Absolutely! BUT, I am choosing to see the silver lining in this and to appreciate the bonus time that I've been given. I love that friends and family from afar have been able to get creative together and problem solve. That we've all found new ways to be together. In a way, this distance is bringing me closer to the people I love outside of my home too.
I know that not everyone is like me, and not everyone shares my feelings and that not everyone has kids or people to be with during this time. I get you too! It's hard for so many and absolutely heartbreaking. We can easily get wrapped up in the sadness of it all and how depressing a lot of this really is. Today I am feeling good about being at home, sharing time with my main squeezes and getting to be involved in ALL of their business. Tomorrow, I could feel differently. That's the thing about this, we don't know how we're going to feel when we wake up, we don't know what each day is going to bring us. All I know is that I did kind of ask for this, maybe not in it's entirety (I certainly didn't want anyone sick, or mourning lost loved ones. I certainly didn't want anyone to lose their jobs, or their lives. I didn't ask for anyone to be experiencing stress, sadness or loneliness), I just simply whispered a yearning for more time with my kids and I've gotten it. I am choosing today to be grateful for that answered, passive prayer and to see the silver lining in this mess. When it all does go back to normal (because it will, eventually), I am going to look at my time with others differently and cherish this bonus time I had when our calendars were clear and free and empty. I am going to miss this when we get wrapped back up in the chaos of every day life. I am going to yearn again for time with my family and will look forward once again to weekends with no plans. So today, I am documenting my grateful heart and feeling blessed with time.
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Melissa here! While I'm all about sharing trends, deals, and outfit ideas with you, I have a true passion for writing. I love sharing thoughts on life the most and am excited to share those thoughts with all of you right here!
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